Miracle God



The past two weeks have been testy but not really anything I haven't seen before. Due to that, I felt like I hadn't had anything that could lead to a good devotion to write. I was trying to think of what to do when I suddenly felt as though I had gone numb to my condition. In some ways I see that as being good, but on the other hand I felt that in the same way, I had gone numb to the miracles. Yesterday was my grandma's birthday who, in the last devotion, I explained had died from cancer. You may be thinking, "did you say that you missed the miracles and then explained death"? Our everyday pain and trials often get in the way of us seeing how far we can and have come through those. I have gone through seeing the pain of cancer take over every one of my family members. I see how hard my grandma fought and still lost. Thinking back to that, tears seemed like they weren't enough. I felt the anger and yet confusion of if this was good or not. Her dying meant she was no longer in pain and could enjoy her eternity in Heaven. However, her death ment our loss. That thought blocked the way I saw my dad's cancer. I thought that cancer equals death. I began to wonder if the only rest and relief from pain was in death since even on the good days there was pain. That thought created a hole from pain that I think led to my suicidal thoughts due to me thinking that was were relief came from. My dad fought and won. I saw something I hadn't in a long time, victory. I realised that yes sometimes there are wins and losses but if you keep fighting, there is a way to win that brings good to everyone. For my grandma, her death was good for her, but bad for us. My dad's win was good for him and us. If I had stopped fighting, I might would have relief for me, but bring more pain for others. If I don't fight, I don't reach others. Through my pain of loss, I put up a wall that I hoped would protect my hole caused from pain from getting any deeper because if I didn't let myself get close to anyone, I wouldn't have to deal with their loss. I went through still losing people that had already made there way into my heart, passed the wall and I was then left with fewer and fewer people to help me through because I pushed away anyone who could have gotten past my wall and helped fill the hole of pain. Instead of filling it with love and fellowship, I let it grow into a numb infection. That same infection spread deep into my mind causing a depression that made it even harder to let down my wall. My depression took over my mind and was in control of my thoughts and my pain and my hurt. It always chose to be a glass completely empty, bone dry, not ever seeming to be filled. I missed the good, the happy, and the miracles. I felt as though I forgot that my dad overcame cancer! God had to have been the one to do that because my dad was too weak to do it himself. I nearly missed that I still am alive even though the numbness made me feel dead to emotion and good. I became hopeless and I didn't want anything to try to give me hope because it would just hurt more to have it broken again. I had nothing else to turn to. Nothing else to hope in. Until, I remembered the miracle of God. God sent His son to die on a cross and rise again three days later so that we can have something to hope in, and to look forward to. He showed us that He could overcome death itself so that we could see that it would be a piece of cake to help us through the trials we go through now. "Why are there still trials then"? We chose it. In the garden, Adam and Eve chose sin. Now, we have to deal with the consequence. Sin comes with death, pain, heartaches, and illness. God is not our Santa Clause that will give us anything and everything we have ever wanted, but He will help us and be there for us through anything and everything. God's not giving up, neither should we. I still deal with trying to be strong and keep going, but the little things that give us hope, shouldn't be thrown out like I did to my hopes. They should be used to encourage and strengthen us to depend on the one who is hope, who is love, and who is victory. In some way, every trial can lead to our victory. My mental craziness and junk led to the creation of this blog, my deeper faith in God, and has led to me being able to share and learn and lead. I just had to let God past my wall so that He could take it down and take over! I still have trouble with the remodeling of my heart, thinking I'm not ready or I having trouble seeing where things could lead. but every time God helps me change my heart to be more like His, my hole created by pain is filled with a concrete hope, love, and joy found in God. God is knocking; Let Him in! That is how we push through. That is how we conquer. That is how we find hope, in the miracles.

If you want to hear more about how God can rock your world or want to know more in general about God's love and grace, please go to this website:
coachburden.blogspot.com-Legend In My Own Mind


Isaiah 40:28-31
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the lord, the Creator of the ends of the Earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is instructable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up on wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.

 Jeremiah 32:27
"Behold I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for me?"

 Luke 18:27
But He said, "The things that are impossible with people are possible with God."

 Mathew 17:20
And He *said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.

 Mark 9:23
And Jesus said to him, “‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.”

 Mathew 19:26
And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”


Some people don't like this song because it says "when it hurts like hell". However, I see that sometimes life can feel terrible and we imagine that the pain we are going through is like the pain explained in the Bible about hell. So please do not miss the good in this song for that one line:
Even When It Hurts by Hillsong United

Here are more songs to listen to incase you want to hear more or don't want to listen to the song above:
Hawk Nelson- He Still Does (Miracles)
Lincoln Brewster- While I Wait
Alisa Turner-Miracles

I know I did this song last week but I think that it can be a great reminder of how trials in life can be used:
Austin French- Why God

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